But in reality, a happy romantic relationship or a marriage needs more than just love, it needs a healthy dose of s-xual intimacy too!
Love could help both of you live together comfortably in each other’s company but if you want your relationship to feel exciting, passionate and memorable every single day, you definitely need to focus on s-xual intimacy, just as much as you indulge in romantic gestures.
Many couples start off on a whirlwind romance where they can’t keep their hands off each other during the first few months or years, but eventually end up in a relationship where they touch each other only to nudge their partner in bed or to get their partner’s attention.
And that perfect start to a happy romance turns into a relationship where there’s no s-xual chemistry or excitement after some few years. It doesn’t happen all at once though it starts in unnoticeably small ways, until it gets to the point where one or both of you just don’t feel alive in the relationship anymore, and desperately seek out ways to experience more excitement in your lives.
There could be several reasons why s-xual problems creep into a relationship but if you catch the signs early or make up your mind to turn things around, you can rekindle the flickering flame of passion and make your relationship feel just as exciting as it felt during the stage of infatuation.
#1 Mismatched s-x drive.
A man may experience the peak of arousal within ten minutes if he chooses to. But a woman generally takes a lot longer to experience s-xual orgasm. If the s-xual drives of both partners don’t match or if one partner is always left unsatisfied by the experience, it’s only a matter of time before s-x starts to feel like a rewardless burden.
Indulge in longer foreplay that excites both lovers and communicate with each other. It’s the easiest way to avoid this kind of s-xual problem in the relationship.
If you’re doing the same missionary in the same corner of the bed every single time, things can start to get pretty boring in a few years. Experiment with each other, make s-x feel exciting and refreshing by trying new things all the time.
#3 S-xual anxiety.
Do you realize that you haven’t had s-x for a long time? And does that thought actually make you feel more restless and anxious each time you think of it? For many couples, it’s easier to completely ignore s-xual intimacy instead of dealing with the stress of confronting the issue.
It’s true, confronting the issue could make you want to squirm, but once both of you learn to deal with it, both of you will come out closer and more in love with each other.
#4 Lethargy and laziness.
S-x is not a chore! Have you ever felt like it was easier to just pretend to be asleep instead of having s-x with your partner? You may have a tiring lifestyle, but if you’re looking for excuses to avoid s-x, you’re only going to drift away from your partner instead of getting closer.
#5 Physical attractiveness.
Do you still find your partner s-xually attractive? If both of you are slipping into bed naked every day, it’s easy to overlook the s-xy stuff over time. Innovate, dress up for each other, and go crazy with wigs or different props to create a unique experience every now and then.
But most importantly, don’t let yourself go just because you’re in a stable relationship with someone who loves you. If you take your own appearance for granted and let yourself go and expect your partner to have the physique of a perfect 10, you’re just being selfish and annoying. Try to look good, dress up, and behave just like you would if you were still single or on the first few dates.
#6 Withholding s-x.
Don’t use s-x as a tool to get even after an argument. Of course, you may not feel like making out after a fight *unless you’re into angry make up s-x!* but don’t use s-x to win brownie points or force your partner to feel guilty and beg you for forgiveness. Your partner may apologize, but they’d hate you for withholding s-x and using it to win an argument.
#7 Stress and depression.
Stress and depression reduces the level of testosterone in your body. Firstly, you don’t feel like having s-x when that happens, and secondly, your body doesn’t want you to have s-x! The more stressed or depressed you are, the more you’d want to avoid s-x because you won’t enjoy it anyway.
Try to relax, have fun and make each day a memorable experience. Life can be painful at times but as long as you view your glass as half full, you can still lead a happy and eventful life.
#8 Distractions in bed.
iPads, televisions and electronic gadgets encroach your together time all the time. And if you have a television in your bedroom or surround yourself with gadgets, it’ll inevitably creep into your together time and turn into a distraction, even if both of you don’t realize it. When you get into bed with each other, avoid bringing any gadgets to bed, and your relationship will improve in no time.
It gets worse when you keep yourself occupied when your partner is idle and bored in bed. Lie down in bed together, fool around, tease each other or just talk about a few happy things, it’ll improve your relationship and the intimacy too!
#9 Trust issues.
Trust plays a very important part in eliminating s-xual problems in a relationship. When both of you trust each other completely, it’ll help both of you open up about each other’s s-xual desires without the fear of being judged. And once both of you talk about the dirty things that turn either of you on, you’ll see your bedroom stories go from boring to s-xually blazing overnight!
#10 Lack of selflessness.
Don’t be selfish while making love to your partner. Your orgasm and s-xual stimulation does matter, but never at the cost of ignoring your partner’s needs. Here’s a simple tip, the more selfless you are while having s-x and the more you focus on satisfying your partner, the better the s-x will be.
#11 Difficult lifestyle.
Long hours at work and an active social circle can take its toll on your s-x life and cause problems in bed over time. If you feel fatigued every day and are too tired to have s-x with your partner, try to schedule a couple of days in a week just to cuddle up and spend time with each other. Even if you don’t feel like making love instantly, the bonding will help build the s-xual intimacy over time.
#12 The kids.
If both of you have become new parents, it’ll definitely take a huge toll on your s-x life. The arrival of kids almost always crushes s-xual intimacy in a marriage because there are so many other things to look into and worry about. But don’t let the lack of s-x turn into a routine that stretches for months on end.
Always find a way to make time, even if that means sneaking out for a few hours. If the lack of s-x turns into a routine, both of you may end up feeling too awkward and uncomfortable to change anything, especially when avoiding s-x means both of you could get a few hours a week to relax and free your mind!
#13 S-xual dysfunctions.
Sometimes, age or stress can play havoc on your s-xual life. You may have a hard time getting it up, or getting interested in having s-x. Discuss the issue with your partner instead of feeling awkward about it, or your partner may assume you’re just not interested in having s-x with them anymore. And if you feel like you need professional help, talk to your doctor about it.
#14 Ejaculation issues.
If you have a hard time lasting long in bed because you suffer from premature ejaculation, don’t feel ashamed about it. You aren’t alone, and there are several men who experience the same s-xual problem in bed. Try to relax your mind and indulge in a lot of foreplay. It’ll help you keep the little guy calm even when your mind gets overexcited.
#15 Dry privates.
Unless it’s a medical condition, there’s probably a psychological reason behind why you may be feeling dry down there when you’re having s-x. It could be your anxiety, your self consciousness or your awkwardness. Fall in love with yourself and like who you are. S-x is enjoyed more in the mind than in your privates and if your guy learns a few moves in bed, he’d be able to help you feel better about yourself and help you achieve explosive orgasms in no time.
#16 Non-s-xual touches.
Intimacy and emotional connection helps bring couples closer together and connects them. Indulge in romantic touches that aren’t s-xual every now and then. Try to build the intimacy so both of you can feel loved in the relationship. And non-s-xual loving touches are perfect to do just that, without the pressure of having to end every cuddle in bed with s-x.
#17 Being taken for granted.
When you feel like you’re being taken for granted in a relationship, it’s easy to get frustrated and secretly dislike your partner for it. It may start off as a minor annoyance but eventually, it may lead to you disliking any kind of s-xual intimacy in the relationship.
If you ever feel like you’ve gotten the shorter end of the stick in your romance, talk about it instead of sulking over it. Big chances are, your relationship and your s-x life will only improve once you do that.
#18 Emotional detachment.
When two lovers don’t feel compatible or emotionally connected, they’d inevitably end up leading two separate lives even if they’re living under the same roof. And what starts off with emotional detachment could lead one or both of you to look for other means or other people to fulfill your emotional and s-xual needs.
Contradictions and differences in opinions aren’t bad for love. In most circumstances, they can help both of you understand each other better and come closer. But if you end the discussion in a huff without concluding it, it could turn into a s-xual problem in your relationship.
Bad s-x is often a result of unhealthy arguments and big egos in a relationship. Fight, but learn to fight fair so both of you can understand each other instead of hating each other.
#20 Painful s-x.
Does it hurt when you have s-x? You may endure it if it’s a one off circumstance, but if s-x is more painful than pleasurable almost all the time, something is probably not right.
If your doctor tells you that it’s not a medical condition, then it’s probably got something to do with your own state of mind. Perhaps, you aren’t ready for penetration just yet when you have s-x, or maybe you need to try and relax and be less anxious. If a good water based lubricant doesn’t make s-x exciting, try something new that s-xually stimulates you and turns you on.
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